astronomy - a love letter in three parts

I wonder if they're asleep yet. No one around, just this old clock battling the hour. Strange light piercing through the windows.

Six and sneaking through that creaky door. No one has to know; this is mine. Looking up to infinity again. Hello, and no goodbye. It's you and me there every night—home away from home.

You're a strange kid. Did you get into a fight again? No one hurts the people I love. Ten and we're already fighting. I look up. It's all good standing up.

Fourteen and I need to be closer. Guess we're gonna have to do with these old Russian textbooks. Numbers and words and cinema. A place to be. Learning tensorial maths, these scrappy notes, this is real.

Looking up, you're good. Discipline and failure and suddenly you feel too much. Too sensitive, toughen up. Leaving home, and we don't cry alone in rooms with dreams.

Eighteen and big interview in the west. I've spent years preparing these notes, gotta bring them. They laugh, I panic, but top mark in the exam - doesn't matter. If you don't speak the part, you don't get the part.

I look up, we got you. Infinity in every moment. Fearless, constant. I didn't find you in a textbook, you weren't a choice. Inevitable knocking on those windows in forgotten villages.

When they tell me who I am, I don't listen. No one has the right, no one lived this story.